Balancing Work, Marriage and Family
Which
specialty has the highest divorce rate?
-
Pediatricians
-
Surgeons
-
Psychiatrists
-
Internists
(The answer
is at the end of this article)
Physiatrists weren’t included in the specialties that were surveyed. The
surprise was that physicians have an overall lower divorce rate (32 percent)
than the general population (40-50 percent). But should that be a surprise?
In general, physicians marry at an older age and have a relatively secure
financial future, both of which tend to improve the odds of success.
My husband and I met during medical school, married during my fourth year of
medical school, and had our daughter during my intern year. We are residents
at two different programs (his specialty is internal medicine – those free
curbside consults have been nice!).
While physicians have unpredictable hours and must take call, our
relationship challenges are no different than any family where both parents
work. The challenges of medical school and residency force physicians to
become efficient with time management and this carries over into meeting the
needs of families at home.
Here are strategies to prevent burnout and maintain a healthy relationship
with your spouse and children:
-
Take periodic time off for a
holiday, even if your holiday is simply staying home and spending time
with family.
-
Make sure you enjoy
activities outside of work. This means taking time for things you enjoy.
You might think about beginning a family ritual (e.g. every Sunday
night, order pizza and play board games).
-
Pick and choose your
battles. So your house is not as clean as you would like, the laundry
wasn’t completed on Saturday, and the car is not washed. Ultimately,
when you look back in 10 years that won’t be what you remember.
-
Learn to say no and not feel
guilty about it! This means keeping family time protected. It may mean
saying no to another research project, or not adding another
extracurricular activity for a child.
-
If you have children, make
sure that some of the quality time goes to the spouse. When work hours
escalate, a “date night” may not always be possible. But turning off the
TV, going to bed an hour early and reconnecting with your spouse can
work wonders for a relationship.
-
Eat, exercise, and take care
of your personal health. You would expect no less from your patients!
And now, here’s the answer to the quiz above. Psychiatrists (51 percent)
were actually found to have the highest divorce rate, followed by surgeons
(33 percent), internists (24 percent) and pediatricians (22 percent).
Researchers reasoned that emotional stress inherent in the profession could
be transferred into personal life. On the contrary, physicians as a
profession are quite fortunate! Patients allow us to witness small victories
every day, and physiatrists play an intimate role in restoring their
independence and ability to return home to family.
Linda Ladesich, MD, MS
University of Kansas Medical Center
lladesich@kumc.edu
Rollman, B, Mead, L, Wang, N-Y, Klag, M. Medical Specialty and Incidence of
Divorce. New England Journal of Medicine. 1997;336:800-803.
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